<= share over there (thanks).
How to Make People Like You
This is a well talked about subject, there are countless resources (books, articles, web pages) based on helping you build lasting positive relationships with others.
And there is no question that it is a subject that if you truly wish to develop a happy life that you need to focus some of your time on.
One of the secrets to building great relationships is to make other people feel accepted.
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs says that one of our basic needs as humans is to feel that we belong.
People have to feel that they are needed and that they are part of a group. This could be a group of friends, family, associations, etc.
If you want to have more people like you and if you want to develop a strong relationship with others start by simply “really” listening to them.
Most people love to talk and there is nothing worse then when someone try’s to talk over you…
Listening communicates to the other person that what they think and are saying is important and that you are interested in them.
Just by listening more to people instead of talking more, you will provide them with a sense of importance and they will immediately appreciate you.
Don’t believe me?
Think about the following situations and how they made you feel:
=> While explaining something that is important to you, somebody else jumps in and finishes your sentence for you.
=> While you are telling a story of what you did over the weekend someone butts in and tells their story or one that is similar to yours.
=> In a meeting at work, your boss interrupts you and cuts you off while you are explaining what happened.
=> You ask your children how their day was at school and they ignore you and run to their video games.
=> You wanted to talk about something that is on your mind with your significant other, but they are busy watching TV and not paying attention to what you are saying.
How would those situations make you feel?
Most likely not very good!
You would feel as if no one is paying any attention to you. That you are being taken for granted. You might even feel like you do not matter. It gives you the impression that your thoughts and feelings are of no importance.
An infant feels it from his mother who caresses him or her in a loving way. As he/she gets older their sense of being accepted extends to their immediate family and friends, then teachers, kids he/she goes to school with etc.
All of us as humans need to feel that we are accepted… it adds meaning to our lives.
Think about a life that is void of acceptance. Kids who are abandoned by their parents at an early age. This creates serious negative emotions within children. There is a real chance kids like this will grow up feeling rejected and this can even result in violent tendencies.
Acceptance must be given unconditionally… The giver can not expect anything from the other person in return. There has to be “no strings attached”.
Having an unconditional acceptance of other people’s ideas thoughts and their concerns can have very favorable outcomes.
Feeling accepted will result in a desire to reciprocate the acceptance.
There is no question that acceptance produces positive results…
But it is not just about what you will receive in return, yes people will like you, yes people will want to be around you… but what is also great about listening and allowing people to feel accepted is that you have actually raised the self-esteem, and feeling of importance in the other the person.
When you are willing to truly listen to other people, and are truly willing to accept their ideas, thoughts, and inputs, you will receive the admiration and appreciation of others, and they will truly like you for it!
A great book on the subject is “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie.
This is a great book and everyone should be made to read it in school. If you want to be liked by others and improve your relationships this is a must read book for you. It is one of my top 10 all time favorite books.
It is also great for people who are in business or who are sales people, you will increase your business 10 fold if you follow what he teaches.
You can get the details on How to Win Friends and Influence People by clicking here.
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